Shirley & Rob

Author: Megan Wynne-Jones, Getting Married project

Getting Married: Shirley and Rob have lived in the Wagga Wagga area all their lives. They met as teenagers and married in 1976. Both have Irish ancestors who arrived in Australia several generations ago, and it is reported that Shirley's maternal great-great grandmother was an Aboriginal woman from the Sydney area.

In the beginning

A small-town romance
Shirley and Rob met when Shirley was 14, working as a telephonist in the post office in Booree Creek. Shirley's family had moved there from an outlying area, where her father worked on farms and drove wheat trucks. Her mother became the postmistress at Booree Creek, where Rob's family had recently moved from Coolamon. His father was a shearer, and had a wheat seed cleaning business.

Shirley remembers seeing Rob for the first time when he came into the post office to make a call. Their friendship then grew into a romance, but not without some opposition from the locals. Robert was then 16.

…I was a pretty wild bloke back in me young days. Used to drive a go cart and I didn't get on too well down there [in Booree Creek], especially with her old man.

The couple were forced to break up, and Shirley gave him back the friendship ring he had given her.

It was just…typical small town narrow-mindedness…because he was a ring-in, he was a newie in town and I was born and bred there and pretty well protected. The town like to protect their own… Rob was a rebel, he had really long hair down to his elbows…and I was non-conformist as well.

Postponing marriage
Rob then started going out with Shirley's cousin, who had lost her bet with Shirley that she would go out with him first! But it was not long before Shirley and Robert were both single again, and renewed their relationship. Soon after, Shirley became pregnant and they had their first child. Aged 18 and 19, they began living together.

She feels that there was less pressure on her from family to get married because Rob's sister, who was also unmarried, had fallen pregnant to Shirley's cousin at the same time. It was several months later that Rob and Shirley decided to make the commitment.

Rob asked her to marry him on a regular basis and she always refused, until one day…

Eventually we were at the footie one day… We were all sitting in the car and it was raining and Rob's cousin said, ‘When are you two bloody well getting married?' and I just looked at him and said, “Yes, when are we?'. So he jumped out of the car and yelled out to everybody that I'd said yes! That was the proposal!

A fortnight before the big day, in keeping with tradition, a “stag's night” for Rob and his friends was held at his brother-in-law's place. Shirley didn't have a “hens party” but a “kitchen tea”, a tradition of that time. It was held in the evening at her mother's place, attended by about 40 women, mostly relatives, bringing presents of kitchenware and linen for the couple.

The wedding

Surrounded by family

On the day
That was in June of 1976, and their wedding took place in November of that year, in the Catholic church at Booree Creek. The church has special significance for them because Shirley's aunt and uncle were the first couple to get married there, and she and Rob were the last, before it got struck by lightning and was burned down. Rob was brought up Catholic, and although Shirley was not, she was happy to go along with a Catholic wedding.

There were 212 guests, and they couldn't all fit in the church. It poured with rain, but Shirley considered that a good omen.

All my family members that have been married in wet weather have been married for over 25 years, and many of the ones that had beautiful sunny days are divorced…

Shirley remembers that the priest had had one too many drinks, and Rob also.

We were pretty well inebriated before we got there, the boys took me across to the pub and filled me up with syrup.

“Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue”
In keeping with this Anglo-Australian tradition, Shirley's two bridesmaids and the flower girl were dressed in blue, and she carried a blue handkerchief. She borrowed her grandmother's brooch and pearl earrings from a friend. Shirley made her own dress, and she wore Rob's mother's veil, which she altered to suit her dress. She chose to wear white.

There were probably a few people who thought it was a bit wrong but…it was basically, you know, ‘You lot had bundles under your bouquets when you walked down the aisle 50 years ago so don't get on my case'…

Short and sweet
Their one year old daughter Dana was of course present at the wedding, looked after by relatives. The rings were made by Rob's sister who was a jeweller. Rob was accompanied by two friends, both known as the best men. He was dressed in a suit and when he knelt at the altar, the gathering could see that the words ‘help me‘ had been written on the bottom of his shoes!

They were quite happy that the ceremony was kept fairly short and because Shirley wasn't a Catholic didn't include the full nuptial mass. The official photographer didn't arrive but friends with cameras took photos for them. Afterwards a reception was held at the local RSL hall, catered for by the CWA at one dollar a head, all home-cooked food, including a roast dinner and apple pies. Their aqua-coloured wedding cake was made by Shirley's aunt.

They spent their honeymoon at Coolangatta on the Gold Coast in Queensland, where they were lucky enough to rent an apartment for a week quite cheaply, before returning to their lives in Wagga.

Life together

Family traditions
In their mid-forties now, with three grown children, Rob works as a mechanic and Shirley in community welfare.

Shennon is the youngest of their three children and the first one to get married. Mat's parents were also teenagers when they met, so the young couple are following family tradition on both sides!

Shirley and Rob are supportive of Shennon and Mat's choice to have a civil ceremony, since although their children have all been baptised and had communion, once they reached adolescence they were allowed to make their own choices. Shirley is happy that their large families will all be at the wedding, as this is a tradition that is important to her. She also notes that the way the tables were set up at the reception is very similar to how they were at her own wedding, even down to the way the serviettes are folded.

A long marriage
Rob thinks that a shared sense of humour and mutual trust have been vital ingredients in their long marriage. For Shirley, communication has been important, as well as learning to give each other time to do their own thing.

We have our differences but on the things that count we're very much the same. I think that's probably what's kept us together… We make our life interesting…

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