Shennon & Mat

Author: Megan Wynne-Jones, Getting Married project

Getting Married: It is a rainy, overcast morning in early September. Outside Shennon's family home in Wagga Wagga stand the four huge white trucks, decorated with ribbons, that are to carry the bridal party to the Botanical Gardens. Inside, the bride and her bridesmaids are having their hair and make up done in preparation for the ceremony.

A country wedding in the gardens

(Shennon) I like trucks, and one of my bridesmaids remembers me telling her when we were 14 that when I get married I'm going to have trucks as my wedding vehicle… You'll see me coming and you'll hear me coming….

Slightly delayed by the lengthy and cumbersome climb into the trucks, the bridal party arrives at the gardens. The rain is managing to hold off, but in any case would not spoil the day for the couple. Rain on the wedding day signals a long marriage in Shennon's family. The guests, numbering over 100, are gathered on the grass in front of the marquee. Almost all of them are family members of the couple. Shennon's family are of mixed descent, mostly Irish, and Mat has English and Canadian ancestry. The bride and her father approach, led by the matron of honour, Tammy, with two bridesmaids, Melissa and Andrea, the young flower girl Megan, and Robert, the page boy. The procession is accompanied by a duo who sing the Bryan Adams song “Heaven”:

Baby you're all that I want
When you're lying here in my arms
I'm finding it hard to believe
We're in heaven.
And love is all that I need
And I found it there in your heart
It isn't too hard to see
We're in heaven.

Shennon is dressed in a low cut strapless white gown with red embroidery, and is wearing a veil that she borrowed from her cousin Emma. She has fulfilled all the elements of the Anglo-Australian tradition – something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue. She is wearing a garter, made by Mat's grandmother, that has a blue ribbon and pearls from Mat's mother's wedding dress, and her diamond earrings are also from Mat's grandmother. The dress itself is new.

The bridal party prepares
The night before, the families of bride and groom went out for dinner. According to tradition, Mat and Shennon spent the night apart, and Mat was not allowed to see the bride's dress. Shennon's father Robert organised to borrow the trucks from his workplace, and several family members were seconded as drivers.

On the wedding day, Robert has a quick haircut, and the bride and her bridesmaids put on their gowns. Red is the theme colour, chosen for its vibrancy. The photographer arrives and takes some pre-wedding shots of the four year old flower girl and the page boy. Close family members are also gathering, and the bride's mother Shirley puts the finishing touches to the wedding cake which she has decorated.

An outdoor setting
It was a natural choice for the couple to have the wedding in Wagga. It was very important to Shennon that her grandparents could be at her wedding, and a long trip to Sydney was out of the question for them. The decision to get married with a civil ceremony in the Botanical Gardens was made quite easily. Although Mat was christened in the Anglican church he is not a church-goer, and Shennon attended Catholic church regularly when younger, but stopped when she reached her teens. However, she would have been open to getting married in a church.

Most churches expect something of you when you get married, to attend the church, to make yourself known to the Father and to go through pre-marriage counselling and I was prepared to do that, but he was pretty determined to be married in the gardens….

(Mat) It wasn't so much that I didn't want a religious wedding, more that I wanted to be outside, in the open.

Shennon was concerned about rain affecting an outdoor wedding, so Mat suggested a marquee. Choosing a civil ceremony has given them control over its content.

We've actually basically written our whole ceremony…and chosen what we wanted people to say and what we wanted to say to one another. It's given our ceremony a little bit more meaning, for us anyway… In the end that's turned out to be really important for us….

After the ceremony

A short ceremony
Inside the marquee the groom and his three groomsmen are waiting. When the bride and her party take their place, the celebrant begins the ceremony.

“Mathew and Shennon believe marriage is that sort of sincerity and understanding which leads to tolerance, confidence and trust. They feel it involves respect for each other's wishes, and that sometimes very difficult task, the acceptance of each other's faults, weaknesses and prejudices. A happy marriage, they know, will enable them to establish a home where there will always be love and stability, where you, their family and friends, will always find welcome, peace and support, and which will be a base from which the influence of their life, shared and strengthened we hope, by this ceremony, can extend.”

The solemnization of the marriage ensues, and Shennon's father formally gives her away, while both sets of parents promise to support and encourage the commitment that the couple are making. A ribbon is tied around the couple's hands and they make their vows. Mat's grandfather reads a poem.

Now you will feel no rain,
For each of you will be shelter to the other.
Now you will feel no cold,
For each of you will be warmth to the other.
Now there is no loneliness,
For each of you will be companion to the other.
Now you are two bodies
But there is only one life before you.
Go now to your dwelling place
To enter into the days of your togetherness and
May your days be good and long upon this earth.

The rings are exchanged, final vows repeated, and the celebrant declares them husband and wife. The couple sign the register, and follow the guests outside onto the lawns.

The photo shoot
Formal photos are taken of the couple and their families, as well as a group photo of all the wedding guests. The bride and groom and their party then make their way to a grassy area on the banks of the Murrumbidgee river on the outskirts of Wagga for a series of location photos. In drizzling rain and increasing cold, the couple and their entourage are snapped playing around in a variety of poses, with the white trucks as a backdrop. As night falls, the trucks' lights are switched on to provide illumination. Finally, the party makes its way to the reception, held in a hotel in the centre of Wagga.

Getting together

Meeting at high school
Shennon and Mathew got to know each other at Mt Austin High School in Wagga Wagga. Shennon remembers meeting Mat on her second day at school, and thought he was a bit of a bully. It wasn't until Year 10 that friends thought they would make a good pair and persuaded them to go out. They then became good friends.

She was more the bully I thought, she was always picking on one of me mates, so I just sort of stepped in to sort her out. Later on I decided I was more interested in her as a girlfriend… A friend was bugging me to ask her out so I said, ‘Alright, just do it then', just to get him off our backs….

According to their parents, however, they actually first met when they were four years old. Mat's mother remembered that he and his sister had been looked after by a close neighbour of Shennon's family in Wagga, and that the children would have met then.

The partnership is sealed

Marriage - a natural progression

We'd always spoken about marriage and even in high school he used to always tell me, ‘I'm going to marry you', and that used to really quite scare me….

By the time they were 18 and 19, Shennon and Mat had been together about 3 years. Shennon didn't want to make the commitment until they could live in their own place and support each other financially and emotionally. Once she felt this was possible, they decided to move in together. Little did she know that Mat had already put a ring on lay-by. About eight months later they were ready to make an announcement to their families.

The couple both feel that their parents have set strong examples of marriage for them. They have sustained long marriages, as have their grandparents. Shennon's mother has taught her the importance of making a whole-hearted commitment. She has also been influenced by her work.

I work in an area where I deal with separation and am faced with it day to day, the pros and cons of marriage and what can happen, the hurt, what people can do to one another. I listen to it every day, and so that just makes me more determined in a way to make sure that my relationship has strong foundations, and that I pay attention to it to make sure I can see where it's going, as well and what I need to do to improve it.

The proposal and wedding plans
During Easter of 2002, the couple were due to attend a family gathering in Wagga. Mat was determined to have Shennon wear his ring.

I grabbed the ring and said, ‘Are you going to wear this now or do you want me to do it in front of all the parents?'. So she just took it off me, she didn't want me to do it in front of everyone….

He just asked me if I would wear it for the rest of my life and that was it.

Their wedding date was re-organised more than once, because they have both been very busy with a recent move to Sydney, setting up home there and starting new jobs. Mat is a bricklayer, and Shennon works for a commonwealth government organisation. They moved from Wagga to Sydney mainly because Shennon felt she had better work opportunities there. Although they enjoyed it in the city at first, they are now planning to move back to Wagga, when Shennon finds a suitable job there. Mat feels that he will never be a city boy, that the country is his home.

The reception

At the hotel where the reception is to be held, the wedding party has gathered. They enter the ballroom and a blessing is read by a family member who is a pastor in the Christadelphian church. Then a sumptuous three course meal is served. Shennon's brother Justin is the master of ceremonies, and he begins by handing out paper for the guests to write messages for the happy couple, which are read out later in the evening.

With great humour and warmth speeches and toasts are made, in the traditional order of an Anglo-Australian wedding. The father of the bride, the father of the groom, a friend of the family, and the best man all tell stories of the couple's lives and wish them well. In a touching moment, a birthday cake is given to the flower girl as the guests sing Happy Birthday. Another highlight of the evening is the specially written rap song, performed by Robert's brother Danny and a friend. The wedding cake is cut, and the couple step onto the dance floor for the bridal waltz, followed by the groomsmen and the bridesmaids, and the parents.

In the warm atmosphere of family, the guests party on until late that night.

The parents' story
Shirley and Rob met in a small town in country NSW where they married in 1976.

>> Read their story

Life together after

The day after the wedding, breakfast is provided for the guests at Mat's parents' house. The couple then set off on a ten day honeymoon, touring around the south coast of NSW, and returning to Sydney. With the long-term view in mind, they feel that having been together for eight years they must be doing something right.

We'll just keep doing what we're doing.

…Mat and I have got such a strong friendship and in a sense that always comes first. You can't be married to someone if you're not friends with them to start with, you need that strong foundation, and communication skills….

They would also like to have children eventually, and their long term plan is to return to Wagga to settle in the town where they both grew up, and where they are surrounded by family.

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